Dealing With the Fallout
by zucca42
Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. Set post Whistle Stop. M/M
1. Chapter 1

Dealing With the Fallout

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. (Okay so they don't actually talk in this chapter, but I'll get there) Set post Whistle Stop. Doesn't take into account anything after this episode. M/M

AN: This is my first fanfic and I'm not much of a writer so any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. No beta, so all mistakes are my own. I know the first chapter is a bit short, but I also know if I don't just post it I'll probably change my mind. I hate it when authors start a story and don't finish so now I've painted myself into a corner so to speak, and I have to follow through. So without further ado:

Chapter 1

Mary flopped onto the couch with a heavy sigh and immediately regretted the decision. Now that she was off her feet all she wanted to do was sleep, but her bedroom seemed like it was miles away. Deciding that she was too tired to care about a bed she curled up on her side and closed her eyes.

Despite her exhaustion her mind was restless. It jumped quickly through scenes from the last few days but never lingered on any one moment for long.

Raph telling her she didnt love him enough. _Forty-six years._ Marshall noticing she wasn't wearing her ring. Raph's aunt hugging her, knowing it was over. Crying in Jinxs arms. Being informed the sleazy FBI agent was asking her out. Marshall's verbal impotence. _He's a beautiful, sweet, sensitive man who adored me. Yeah, who wants that?_

Annoyed with her current train of thought, she groped around the coffee table until her fingers closed around the remote and clicked on the TV. She flipped quickly through the channels hoping to find something to distract her from her racing thoughts long enough to allow her drift off, but nothing held her attention. Putting the remote down, she settled on an old western and did her best to concentrate on what was happening on the screen.

After a few minutes she noticed that she had been absently rubbing her bare ring finger and her thoughts finally found focus. It felt strange not to be wearing the ring, which kind of pissed her off because she had never felt all that comfortable wearing it in the first place. It had felt awkward and heavy on her finger, and she always hated when she noticed anyone looking at it. Hell she had spent the first part of her engagement with the damn thing in her pocket most of the time, even after everyone knew about the engagement, so why on earth did its absence seem so conspicuous now.

The faint tan line that had first tipped Marshall off to the change in Marys relationship with Raph seemed to be mocking her. It pointed out that she had failed again. She drove away a wonderful man who loved her because she couldn't love him the way he needed. She knew she sucked at relationships, but if she couldnt even hold on to a man who was so desperate to marry her that, despite having the ring chucked at him after his first rejected proposal, he continued to carry it around in his pocket until he was able to use his mothers visit to guilt her into saying yes, then there really wasn't much hope of her ever maintaining a lasting relationship.

She clicked off the TV and stood up, looking around the house for something else to distract her from the depressing train of thought. The house, usually so full of drama and irritation, now seemed oppressively silent. She grabbed her keys and headed for the car not quite sure yet where she would go, just knowing this was the last place she wanted to be right now.

Mary felt her frustration build as she drove. She was honestly relieved not to be engaged to Raph anymore, so why was this eating at her. She really shouldn't care that they had broken up; she hadn't wanted to get married in the first place. Her relationship with Raph was supposed to be casual, like all her others, based primarily on satisfying each other's needs.

But no, Raph wasn't content with the status quo. He kept on pushing for her to be more invested in their relationship and somehow he succeeded. He would push and then when she went on the defensive he would act all sweet and hurt, making her feel guilty for not treating him better and she would relent. He was a good guy that honestly cared about her and that's what every girl is supposed to want. She couldn't possibly do better. Even her sister had told her that. Her mother acted like marring Raph would be the culmination of everything she could possibly want in life. While her instincts screamed at her to get out before it was too late, with Raph and her family pushing her forward she allowed herself to be convinced that the problem was that something was wrong with her. That this was what normal people did, and if she just went along with it eventually she would figure out how to be happy.

Yes, they pushed and prodded while she made concessions and slowly felt like she was loosing herself. And then Raph's stupid aunt came with her talk of babies, and happy marriages, and forty-six freaking years, and Raph finally came to realize what she had been trying to tell him all along. They were never going to work.

Then he managed to break up with her in such a way that made it about her shortcomings even though he was technically the one calling it off. She didn't love him enough. He left her, bailed on the relationship when he finally saw that Marriage wasn't going to magically turn Marry into all the things he wanted her to be, and somehow that was her fault. Well screw that. She hadn't ever pretended to be the fairytale ending type, and she couldnt help it if he was too stupid and stubborn to see that until now. He had pushed her into a relationship and then left her feeling stupid, sad, abandoned, and guilty. Well she sure as hell wasnt sad anymore. She was royally pissed, and she didn't want to waste another second thinking about her idiotic, Dominican, ex-shortstop, ex-fiance turned sleazy, commercial making, car salesman.

Her jaw was clenched and her knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel when she pulled up in front of Marshalls house. She hadn't consciously decided to come here, but wasnt surprised that it was where she ended up. Hopefully Marshall would sense her mood and offer some welcome distraction, and if not, he would make a decent punching bag on which she could vent her frustration. Marshall was tough. He could take it.


	2. Chapter 2

Dealing With the Fallout

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. Set post Whistle Stop. M/M

AN: I'm a new writer so I could use all the help I can get. (yes this is my subtle way of shamelessly begging for reviews) Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed, I really appreciate the feedback. No beta, so all mistakes are my own.

Chapter 2

Mary knocked on Marshal's door and fidgeted impatiently as she waited for him to answer. A minute later she let out a sigh and was about to just give in and use her key when the door swung open.

"Geez, finally" Mary greeted as she pushed past him into the house.

"Hey, come on in" he said to her back, following her inside and shutting the door behind him. "So. What's up?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she stated abruptly.

"Talk about what?" he asked, though he had a pretty good idea what she was referring to. And if the fire he saw in her eyes was any indication, she was spoiling for a fight. He would have to tread carefully.

"Raph, the break up. Can we just not talk about it?"

"You're the one who brought it up," he pointed out.

"Well I'm putting it back down, and you better too if you know what's good for you"

Marshall studied her, debating. Should he pursue the topic, giving her the excuse she's looking for to unleash some of her anger, and hope her uncensored ranting would help him understand what happened. Or should he look for a way to diffuse the situation, and wait to broach the subject again once Mary had calmed down. He decided to let Mary make that choice for him. He figured he could try to avoid a blow up, and if Mary was wound too tight she simply wouldn't let him.

"Okay…" he drew the word out trying to assess what to do next that wouldn't get his head bit off.

"So you came here to _not_ talk about Raph. Was there some other topic you were hoping to discuss? Weather? Politics? The effects of urban sprawl on migratory songbirds? You didn't seem all that interested in my knowledge of the history of ice cream, but if you've changed your mind I'd be happy to oblige as it really is quite fascinating."

"Look, you can talk about whatever you want, but I just need to not think about it right now, okay? I was sitting at home and all I could do was think about it and try to analyze what went wrong and for once my house is completely quiet cause Brandi's in New Jersey, and miracle of miracles, Jinx actually has a job, and Raph is gone and I've been dying for just a few moments of peace since I freaking bought that house and now that I finally have it it's like the silence is taunting me and I can't stand it so I came here so I could just not think about it for a while so you better not choke like last time because I am this close to loosing it and if I do, have no doubt, you _will_ be my first victim."

Mary finally paused to take a breath and glared at Marshall, just daring him to push the issue. She half hoped he would just so she would have something else to go off on. The anger felt much better than her earlier brooding.

While Marshall desperately wanted to know why Mary and Raph were no longer engaged, he knew trying to get anything out of her when she was like this was hopeless and would most likely end with him in a lot of pain. So he opted for a tried and true method of dealing with a hostile Mary; distract her with food.

"I ordered pizza for dinner, got here a few minutes before you. It's in the living room. I'll go grab a couple of beers and we can split it."

For a moment her posture remained tense, eyes narrowed and he thought she might reject his peace offering in favor of a stress releasing confrontation. Then he saw her body relax, her expression soften, and knew for the moment the storm had passed. She never could resist pizza.

"Deal, but there better not be any mushrooms on it."

"I make no guarantees," he said with a grin before turning to fetch their beers. He heard Mary grumbling from the other room and knew she had found the pizza. He rarely got mushrooms on pizza because he was almost always sharing it with Marry. She wouldn't even let him get mushrooms on his half, insisting that bits of the dreaded fungus always made their way onto her slices as well. He smirked at the thought of her having to deal with his preferences for once, knowing she would not do so gracefully.

After handing her a beer, Marshall sat down next to her on the couch. She was already busy picking the mushrooms off her first slice.

"Seriously, who the hell thought it was a good idea to put fungus on pizza. I mean you usually throw out food that has fungus growing on it so why would you voluntarily add it to a perfectly good pizza?"

"You know, although mushrooms and the mold you find growing on old food are both members of the Fungi Kingdom, most mushrooms belong to the phylum Basidiomycota, while your common bread mold is found in the phylum Glomeromycota. You see it all depends on how…"

"Okay stop right there" Mary hastily cut him off. "That is way more than I ever wanted to know about the classification of mushrooms. Jesus. How you manage to turn a discussion of pizza toppings into a scientific lecture is beyond me."

"It's a gift" he replied with a cheeky smile.

She rolled her eyes at him in feigned annoyance, but here on Marshall's couch listening to him spout off pointless trivia she felt herself relax for the first time in days.

The pizza box lay empty on the table in front of them and they were both well into their second bottle of beer. Bits of mushroom were scattered about the room, the remains of an impromptu, albeit slightly one-sided, food fight. After accumulating a nice little pile of the disgusting brown pieces Mary decided that she might as well put them to good use and began flicking them at her partner. Marshall, who had foolishly eaten all of his mushrooms, was left without ammunition and had to resort to pinning Mary down and tickling her until she agreed to a truce. She had kicked and squirmed, but with the position Marshall had her in she could't throw him off without doing some serious damage. She delivered a halfhearted punch when he released her, but she was still trying to catch her breath and didn't have the energy to bother with further retaliation. Marshall may have won that round but he still had a nice big piece of mushroom stuck to his forehead that Mary had no intention of telling him about.

They had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the last few minutes, just enjoying each other's company when Mary decided to bring up the topic she had been trying to avoid for days.

Swallowing the rest of her beer in one long swig, she set the bottle on the table and turned to face her partner.

"So, Raph and I split up."

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Yeah, I know they haven't actually talked about it yet. Next chapter I promise. They're just not cooperating. I can't seem to make the conversation go where I want it to. Any suggestions?


	3. Chapter 3

Dealing With the Fallout

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. Set post Whistle Stop. M/M

AN: So sorry this took so long to update. I haven't abandoned the story. Between being out of town for a week, getting a new computer, and starting a new job things were a bit hectic, but they've slowed down now so i'll try to do better. I'm not really all that happy with this chapter but oh well, here it is anyway. Reviews are enormously appreciated, so pretty please let me know what you think. (-: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, you guys are great! Still no beta so mistakes are all mine. End long rambling AN.

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Chapter 3

"So, Raph and I split up."

"Yeah, I kinda had a hunch." He obviously knew that already so where was she going with this?

"Shut up doofus," she said as she bumped his shoulder with hers. "I just don't really know how to do this."

"How about you start with when."

"The night we got back from the Malone trial."

Marshall waited to see if she would continue. She remained silent, staring down at her hands. Clearly a bit more prodding was required.

"So… What happened?"

"What do you mean what happened? We broke up, that's what."

Despite her agitation Marshall knew she really did want to talk about it, she just wouldn't be Mary if she didn't put up a bit of a fight first.

"Why?"

Well, that was the question wasn't it? Why did they call off the engagement? Why couldn't she love him enough? Why did she care? Why did she ever say yes in the first place? She wasn't sure how to answer any of those questions so she decided to start to start with something she was sure of; the moment she was sure it was over.

"His aunt hugged me."

Marshall frowned in confusion. "What? What does that have to do with…" At Mary's glare Marshall trailed off and waited, knowing that she needed to do this her own way and anymore interruptions at this point might make her shut down.

"She said she didn't want to miss her chance. I thought that was weird, but then she told me to be good to myself and I realized she knew Raph and I wouldn't make it to the alter, that she and I would never be family."

Mary paused, lost in the memory, trying to understand what she was feeling when she realized what that hug meant. At the time she had done what she always did when uncomfortable emotions loomed, she stuffed them down determined to ignore them as long as possible and turned to focus on work. When she returned to find Raph waiting for her, telling her they needed to talk she knew what was coming. She let him do the talking, feeling sad but resigned. She truly hadn't ever expected things to end any differently. Happily ever after was a myth that she had tried to believe in for a while but it was time to face reality. Believing something didn't make it true and false hope only made things more painful in the end.

She saw Marshall shift out of the corner of her eye and realized she had been silent for a while. She needed to explain. Maybe once it was all out there it wouldn't hurt so much.

"She knew it was over, and I knew then too but I couldn't deal with what that meant yet. I didn't know what to do with that knowledge. Turned out I didn't have to do anything. When I got back from the case Raph wanted to talk and he called it off and left. I didn't stop him. That's it." Mary explained succinctly with a neutral tone, shrugging when she finished as though it wasn't a big deal.

Marshall studied her carefully. She was doing an excellent job of keeping her emotions in check, but he knew that this was upsetting her a lot more than she let on. There was something bothering her beyond the fact that it was over.

"That's it?" he asked incredulous. "He called of the wedding and ended a relationship with the woman he loved without any explanation. And you were okay with that? What am I missing?"

"You're not missing anything numb nuts. He said we shouldn't get married, I agreed, case closed. Can we please move on?"

"No."

"Why not? Are you just trying to piss me off? You wanted to know what happened and I told you. What more do you want from me?" Her voice rose, her composure beginning to crack.

"I want to know why," he replied, his tone matching hers.

She finally shouted,"he said I didn't love him enough."

They were both silent for a moment as Marshall absorbed this revelation. Then Mary repeated, softer this time, "I didn't love him enough." She quickly looked away from Marshall's face, instead focussing down on her hands as she twisted them in her lap not wanting to see Marshall's reaction.

The way she said it, the look in her eyes before they broke contact Marshall knew she saw this as a deficiency within herself. He cursed Raphael for making this amazing woman doubt her worth for even a second.

Now that it was out there Mary rushed to justify herself. "I tried Marshall, you know I did. I agreed to marry him, I tried to be better about letting him in, I told him that I'm a wit sec inspector for God sakes. I broke protocol and I hurt you, and for that I am so sorry Marshall" She briefly glanced up at him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears before continuing. "I just, I don't even know what I was thinking other than that I needed to do everything I could to make this work, but it was never enough, I was never enough. I tried but I," her voice cracked. "Why couldn't I love him enough?" The last word came out as a sob as she finally released the tears she had been holding back. Marshall quickly wrapped an arm around her and drew her close. Mary responded by turning to rest an arm across his stomach and rest her face on his chest.

"You can't control how you feel about someone Mare, and it is not your fault that you and Raphael didn't work."

"It feels like it is." She whispered in a broken voice that made his heart ache.

"Listen to me Mary. It is not your fault. Raphael may have loved you but he didn't understand you, didn't know you the way a man should know the woman he intends to marry. He wanted you to change, but that's not what real love is about. Of course no one is perfect, but if you truly love someone you accept who they are faults and all. You should never feel the need to change who you are for anyone. If Raphael couldn't love and appreciate you for exactly who you are then he didn't deserve you."

Marry quirked a tiny half smile at that as she sniffled into his shirt. She appreciated what Marshall was saying, but she wasn't entirely convinced.

"As my best friend you have to say that, but Marshal, Raph always did everything you're supposed to do in a relationship. I was the one who couldn't handle it. It's me who didn't deserve him."

"There is no set protocol for what you're supposed to do in a relationship Mary, That's defined by the people who are in it. That the things you needed from a relationship and the things he needed didn't match up isn't your fault. He never should have accused you of not loving him enough, but he was right when he said that you don't work. You both needed to let go so you can each find someone who makes you happy and doesn't want to change you."

At that Mary chocked out a half laugh half sob. "Jesus Marshall, look at me. I am a stubborn, emotionally stunted, pain in the ass. I really don't think that guy exists."

Marshall pulled Mary closer as he sighed. Resting his cheek against her hair he could only murmur. "He really does Mare, he really does."


	4. Chapter 4

Dealing With the Fallout

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. Set post Whistle Stop. M/M

AN: And once again it took me forever to update. So sorry, but thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I really appreciate that so many of you took the time to let me know what you think of the story. It really helps me to continue writing, despite how slow I am to update. Hope you like this chapter. It didn't exactly go where i thought it would, but that always seems to be the case so perhaps I should just stop trying to point the story in a certain direction and let it go where it pleases. Let me know what you think.

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Chapter 4

Mary wasn't sure how long she had been wrapped in Marshall's embrace, but she wasn't in any hurry to leave his arms. Her head on his chest rose and fell with each breath, and the steady beat of his heart against her ear was surprisingly soothing. She had never felt as comfortable with anyone as she did with this man, but even though she trusted him above all others she knew that soon she would need to pull back and regroup. The embarrassment was already starting to creep in and Marshall didn't need to be dealing with this weepy, girly version of his normally kick ass partner.

But man, being with him like this felt so good that she was loathe to move away. Surely a few more minutes wouldn't hurt. Besides, she thought when she noticed Marshall's hand stroking gently up and down her back, he doesn't seem to mind.

After convincing herself to just relax and appreciate the comfort her partner was offering her mind drifted back to the words he had spoken earlier. If Marshall said it wasn't her fault then she was going to let herself believe him, or at least try. Really all Marshall and Raph had done was confirm what she had felt all along; she did not belong with Raph.

She felt relief wash over her as she finally fully accepted the truth of that statement and its implications. She had been striving for so long to make the relationship work because she wanted to prove that she could. But not all relationships work. In fact most don't, and a person can't be blamed for not falling in love. For some reason she had gotten in her head that Raph was her only chance and she had stubbornly ignored all evidence to the contrary. A million things about the man had grated on her nerves and tried her patience, but every time she considered ending it she would remind herself that Raph was a wonderful guy, and there were millions of women who would kill to have what she was this close to kicking to the curb. Finally she could accept that Raph being a great guy did not mean he had to be the guy, and not loving him enough to make forever work did not have to mean there was something wrong with her.

She was glad she came to Marshall tonight. He was always able to calm her down and make her see reason when she got too worked up to think straight. She wondered why that was. When anyone else tried to point out anything to her she immediately got defensive, but Marshall could almost always get through to her. He was in her head, seemed to know what she needed even when Mary herself wasn't sure. It was disconcerting and yet comforting at the same time.

Marshall knew her. He was maybe the only person who truly did and yet he was still here, despite all she put him through, holding her like he never wanted to let go. And she realized she didn't want him to. Perhaps it wasn't very practical to remain like this forever, and it was just the type of overly sentimental notion that she usually scoffed at, but the idea of being with Marshall like this every day was surprisingly appealing.

Mary tensed. Realizing the direction of her thoughts she decided it was time to pull back, get a little distance. This closeness was going to her head and making her think crazy things. She and Marshall weren't like that. He was her best friend and she was just subconsciously looking to someone she trusted sooth the pain of rejection. Mary did not have feelings for Marshall, and he certainly didn't have feelings for her.

Mary pushed off his chest and moved back on the couch, careful to leave some space between them.

Marshall felt Mary go stiff against him but he continued to stroke her back hoping she would relax again and they could stay like this a bit longer. When she pulled away from him a few moments later he suspected her walls would be up again and she would try pretend that she was completely fine and the last few hours had never happened.

Mary steeled herself to meet Marshall's eyes, suddenly worried about what she would find there after her uncharacteristic display of vulnerability, and even more terrified of what he might see in her. But she looked up and there was her best friend wearing an expression of concern and affection, a bit of mushroom still stuck to his face and she couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her lips.

Marshall was confused. When Mary first glanced up at him she had seemed timid, even a bit worried, and the next thing he knows she's laughing at him. He was glad to see her smile again, even if it was at his own expense, but he at least wanted to be let in on the joke.

Mary noticed his confusion and rolled her eyes, a huge grin still firmly in place. "You've got a face full of fungus, doofus," she said as she removed the offending object and held it out for him to see.

Though he missed the feel of her in his arms and he was still curious about the brief flash fear he had seen in her eyes, he was relived at the opportunity to lighten the mood so he played along.

"I was just saving it for later," he replied, snagging the mushroom from her fingers and popping it into his mouth.

"Ugh gross," she said, making a disgusted face. "God, you are such a dork"

"Yeah, but you love me anyway," he said teasingly.

And she did. He was her best friend; of course she loved him. It wasn't really something she thought about, just something that was a part of her. He had wormed his way under her defenses and she hadn't realized how far until they were sitting in that dusty old gas station and she was faced with the possibility of losing him. So she told him he had to stay, knowing that she needed him more than she had ever needed anyone, and he had. He had proved time and again that he would always be there for her in any way that she needed. He was the one person she could always count on to stand by her no matter what. She didn't need to put on a front with Marshall. He had seen her at her worst and could deal with anything she threw at him. He let her do what she needed to do and always had her back if things went sideways.

None of this was a revelation but for some reason in this moment everything seemed to fall into place taking on a new meaning, and the feelings she had tried to push aside just a few minutes earlier came flooding back even stronger than before.

Marshall watched Mary's expression go from amused to pensive and then shift to something more intense, but before he could decipher it Mary's lips were pressed against his and all rational thought fled from his mind.

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Reviewers Rock (-;


	5. Chapter 5

Dealing With the Fallout

Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Mary and Marshall talk about Mary's broken engagement. Set post Whistle Stop. M/M

AN: Well clearly I'm completely incapable of updating in a reasonable amount of time. I should probably stick to one-shots if I ever write anything else. Once again I want to thank all of my amazing reviewers. Seriously, you guys are awesome. I believe this will be the second to last chapter, but what do I know. On a completely unrelated note: Woooooooooooo! In Plain Sight got picked up for two more seasons! Yay! Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. None of my friends watch the show so I don't have any other outlet. So anyway, on with the story.

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Chapter 5

Mary felt Marshall freeze for a moment in surprise. At least she hoped it was surprise, and not horror. Honestly she had shocked the hell out of herself so she couldn't really blame him for his hesitation. She slid her hands up his shoulders and grasped the back of his neck urging him closer, praying that she wasn't misreading him and making a complete fool of herself. The relief that coursed through her body when she felt him respond was quickly replaced by a surge of arousal that she had never associated with her goofy partner before today. God, kissing him was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. It was at once comfortable and exciting, two things she hadn't thought could go together. And the fact that it was Marshall's hands wrapping around her waist, his lips beneath hers, somehow made a simple kiss feel more intimate than sleeping with Raph ever had.

Marshall couldn't think. His senses were full of Mary and the only thought he could process was more. She was intoxicating and he couldn't get enough of her. Her lips parted on a moan and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, thoroughly exploring her mouth as her hands fisted in his hair.

Each kiss became more desperate than the last. Mary felt her control slipping and she let herself go, kissing Marshall with unrestrained abandon. She needed to be closer, to feel more of him. Soon she was laying back on the couch tugging Marshall down on top of her. They both groaned as his weight settled against her, loving the feel of their bodies pressed closely together.

Mary moaned in protest when Marshall lips left hers, but her disappointment was short lived as he began to trail soft kisses down her neck. The feather light contact was driving her crazy in the best possible way and she slid her hands under his shirt and up his back, relishing the feel of his bare skin beneath her fingers. His mouth found a particularly sensitive spot at the juncture of her neck and shoulder and she gasped, arching against him.

The sound was enough to penetrate the haze of arousal that had taken over Marshall the second Mary's lips had touched his and he lifted his head to look at her. She was beautiful: cheeks flushed, lips swollen from his kisses, eyes dark with desire. He had given up hope that he would ever see her this way. Thank God he was wrong. He brought a hand to her face, brushing his thumb across her cheek when he noticed the traces of dried tears there. Not long ago she was crying. Over Raphael. His hand froze as he tried to reconcile the woman who had sobbed in his arms earlier with the one lying beneath him now. How had they gotten here? Before he could draw any conclusions she was pulling him in for another searing kiss effectively derailing his train of thought.

For a while his mind was filled with pure sensation: the taste of her mouth, the scratch of her nails on his back, the feel of her skin beneath his hands. But when he felt her begin to push his shirt up he broke the kiss and reached a hand out to stop her. Doubt was beginning to set in and he needed to know what this was before they went any further. Mary was too important. He wouldn't risk their friendship, their partnership, and his heart on what would probably be nothing more than comfort sex. Marshall sat up, needing a bit of distance if he wanted to think clearly. His resolve not to kiss her again would last all of two seconds if he remained lying on top of her.

When Mary felt Marshall sit up she followed, pulling his face back to hers for another deep kiss. After a few seconds he broke away again, this time grabbing her wrists and bringing them down to her sides to keep her from pulling him back in for more.

"Mary, hold on."

Not understanding why the kissing had stopped she started to ask "Marshall, what..."

"Just hold on a second, okay?" he interrupted as he moved to sit on the coffee table across from her, channeling all his will power into silencing the voice in his head insisting he take whatever she was willing to give and worry about the consequences later.

Mary was confused. One moment Marshall was pressing her into the couch, peppering her with kisses and the next he was sitting on the coffee table, hands gripping the edge like he was afraid he would fall off and looking at her with an expression she had never seen before. She quickly turned her body to face him, hoping to figure out why he had stopped, and he tensed even further when her knee grazed his in the process. She felt her stomach drop at his reaction. Shit. This was bad. What the hell was she thinking throwing herself at him like that. Obviously she wasn't thinking or she would have realized that making out with her best friend practically two seconds after breaking off her engagement was a recipe for disaster. Just because she finally realized that she that she was in love with Marshall did not mean he felt the same way. The evidence had seemed to suggest that he did, but what the hell did she know. Her track record wasn't exactly stellar in this area. Clearly she had read the signs wrong and now she needed to find a way to get out of this without screwing things up any further.

"Marshall..." she began, his name hanging in the void between them when she realized she didn't know what else to say.

"I just ... what are we doing Mare?"

Mary felt the panic rise but she tried to brush it off with a casual response. "I'm pretty sure we were making out on the couch" she answered, trying to inject an air of bravado into her tone.

Marshall sighed. Of course she couldn't answer him seriously. Either she really didn't see this as a big deal, or she was deflecting because she didn't want to answer honestly. Neither option boded well for him, but he pushed on.

"You know what I mean." He said, a hint of frustration creeping into his tone.

She did, but she hated being put on the spot and the way things were going it didn't look like he would be too thrilled with her answer.

"Not really Marshall, care to explain?"

Her response sounded casual but she was clearly uncomfortable he could see the panic in her eyes. If he pushed now there was no telling how she would react, but he needed to know so he pressed on.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Jesus Marshall, I don't know." She was taken aback by the direct question. "I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time." Which was true enough even if it wasn't the real reason, but one glance at his face told her he wasn't satisfied with that answer. His gaze was steady, face calm with one eyebrow raised, clearly prepared to wait as long as it took to get a real answer. It was incredibly unnerving. She felt cornered and exposed causing her next words to come out a bit harsher than she had intended.

"Of course if I had known you'd get this bent out of shape over a little kissing I wouldn't have bothered," she snapped.

"Right" Marshall said softly. He looked hurt and she cursed herself for screwing this up so badly. She was immediately repentant.

"I'm sorry Marshall. I didn't mean..." but she was cut off before she could finish.

"No, it's okay. I get it. It was a mistake. We both got a little carried away, but going down that road probably isn't the best idea."

It nearly killed him to say that, but he didn't see any other way. From her response it was clear that she regretted kissing him. If he could just explain it away maybe they could forget it ever happened and nothing would have to change between them. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel awkward around him because of one ill-advised kiss.

Despite the fact that she was planning to say something along the same lines, hearing him say it was a mistake felt like a blow to the gut. He was still speaking but she didn't catch much. Some crap about heightened emotions and not ruining their friendship that probably would have sounded wise had she been paying attention, but basically meant that Marshall didn't want her.

Oh God, what had she done? She was horrified to feel tears prickling behind her eyes. She had to get out of here now. Marshall had seen her cry enough for one night. She quickly stood up and cut into Marshall's rambling explanation.

"You're right. It was a mistake. I'm really sorry. But anyway I'm exhausted so I guess I'll just see you tomorrow."

By the time she finished her hand was already reaching out to open the front door. She managed to hold it together just long enough to slip outside before she felt the first tear slide down her cheek.

* * *

Okay, so I wasn't very nice this chapter but I promise everything works out in the end. In the mean time you know you're just dying to leave a review. Don't fight the impulse. (-;


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